I wanted to start out with a BANG, but the Barber cut All my Hair Off!
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Why do "BALD" people hate the "Big-BANG-Theory?"
Why doesn't some "Cereal" get Soggy? Life-Alert!
Why doesn't some "Cereal" get Eaten? Life-Alert!
Why Does one cereal "Sound" Good? Life-Alert!
Trash Talk and Politics! "Waste-Management!"
A car, someone or something moves like a great, fast car! "Moves Like Jag'r!"
Rye and Sea flavored toothpaste! Rye-N-Sea-Crest! Ryan Sea-Crest!
Toothpase with seasalt/seawater and/or seaweed! Sea-Crest!
Ryan see's toothpaste! Ryan See-Crest!
Have you ever seen the inside of a pen? Yes, It's a Pencil/Pen-Soul!  
Have you ever seen the inside of a pen? Yes, but it's not a Pencil/Pen-Soul!
Ever seen the inside of a pen? No! It went "#2" or it got the "Lead Out!" (Pencil/Pen-Soul!)
Try this for Openers! (O-Shaped-Pen'rs!) Give them a pen that is NOT O-Shaped! Now can get ink out!
Put an O-Shaped Pen in a "Case" for an Open and Closed Case! (O-Pen And Closed Case!)
Nelly is for tall/big deer/doe and/or for "Rising" crust! Nelly Furtado/Fer-Tall-Dough/Fer-Tall-Doe!"
Why are you walking around with a "Blind" on the back of your head? It's my Third-Eye-Blind!
In Ohio a baseball "Mascot" has fun and is Famous! Lou-Seal-Ball!
In Ohio a BASEBALL Mascot is Famous! Lou-Seal-BALL!
Drink or gargle with "Detergent!" Now say, "All Smiles!"
Road WORK ahead? Great! If the road doesn't Work, we can't Drive!
Oh Yeah, Life Goes On? No One Eats their Cereal or No One is Losing playing a Board-Game!
I don't need "LIFE Insurance!" My "Cereal" won't get soggy nor go bad!
I started to Limp and my mom said NO! So I was Limp-NO'D! (Lymph Node!)
None of your Bee's Whacks/Wax! So How Do bees Discipline or Clean?
Why are knee pads and/or crock-pots sold with tubs? For Crawl-Kits and Tubs! (Crockett and Tubbs!)
Where is the Leash? "Run" the Bases!
Yuk, Cooked bases! Wok The Bases! (Walk The Bases!)
Normal cooked "Base" food! Wok the Bases! (Walk the Bases!)
That ball player/those ball players are really "Cookin'!" Wok The Bases! (Walk The Bases!)
I don't get "OUT" much, I'm too great a "Ball" player!
Why is it Pitchers mound instead of Pitcher Mound?
It is Pitcher's mound not Pitcher mound because their pitcher's are no good and use more than one Pitcher!
What is a pile of pitchers? Pitcher's Mound!
A pitcher's candy/food? Pitcher's Mound!
SECOND base? If you get to the base in a "Second" it is "First" base and Second!
Those who clean seats! Bleach-ers! Bleach'rs!
Clean Seats! Bleachers!
Why are you Looking thru Paper Towel and Toilet Paper tubes/rolls? I'm Rolling My Eyes! 
May I be excused? WHY do you want "Excuse I" instead of  "Excuse Me?"
I've got a "Bee-Cool" so you can "Relax!" I've Gotta-Bee-Cool, Relax! (I've gotta be cool, relax!)
That tornado (Just) destroyed everything so I gave it a "Perfect 10" score! "I Just SCORED a TOUCHDOWN!"
Roll a Dollar in a circle or an O-shape! Now you are/have "Buck-O'ins!"
If a sign says to "Merge Right" then no one else should be in the Left Lane! "Get Ready For The Left Lane!"
Get Ready For The Left Lane! Then there should not be a "Merge Right" or "Left-Lane-Ends" sign!
Give someone a heater, fireplace, firewood, coal, "A COAT of Paint" or a fan or air conditioner that does NOT work! House Warming Gifts!
What is Relaxed? A) Someone that visited LAX again! B) Someone that uses a Lax-ative again!
Copyright 2011 Bryan Schooley
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