I wanted to start out with a BANG, but the Barber cut All my Hair Off!
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Charlie Sheen

Where did Charlie Sheen learn to drink, do drugs and love hookers? Two and a Half Men, Chuck-Lured Him! (Chuck Loore him!)
"Breaking" News! Gas prices are finally "Higher" than Charlie Sheen! They both need to "Stop" it!
Charlie Sheen has sex, does drugs and throws up! "Hook(er)-Line-And Sinker!" (Hook-Line-And Sinker!) 
Why should Charlie Sheen Not have a Cow? He should be "Sheen" and not "Heard!"
Charlie Sheen Finally got to live like a "King!" He was at the "Palace" in Columbus, Ohio!
Charlie Sheen said, I have to take a Test to get drugs?
Charlie Sheen said Sure, I'd love to "Test" your drugs!
Why can Charlie Sheen cook great fish? It's Beer-Battered!
Charlie Sheen doesn't need a "Dishwasher," he just recycles the bottles!
If a woman wins, Charlie Sheen did Not Beat her!
How does All of Charlie Sheen's parties end? When he passes out!
Charlie Sheen isn't Losing It! The fans are the ones Losing!
Charlie Sheen has a One-Man-Show proving he doesn't need "Two-And-A-Half-Men!" 
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Charlie Sheen WINS his lawsuit! He had a Perfect "Character" witness!
Charlie Sheen "Takes Them To School!" He's "Acting" like he was "Taught" from "Show" and Tell! 
Charlie Sheen says, "What happens in "Women/Hookers" Doesn't Always STAY In "Women/Hookers!" Waah, Baby!
Now Charlie Sheen can say the women/hookers are to "Create" his Own "Two-And-A-Half-Men!"
Charlie Sheen was in the Holiday Spirit as an actor with "Stalking Stuffers" when he was at dinner with "Rose!"
When they finished eating the "Stalkings" were Stuffed!
Writers and producers could've "Showed" Charlie They cared! Had they sat by a fireplace, it'd be "By the Chimney with Care!"
Hey writers/producers, if the "Stalkings" were "Hung" and not Stuffed by the Chimney with care, wouldn't Charlie be "GONE?"
Hey writers/producers, Then you'd win your case against Charlie (Sheen) with a "Hung Jury!"
What is "Hang Tight" Charlie's (Sheen's) writers/producers! Too "Tight" to "Hire" me and my creations, especially about hung/hangings!
Charlie's (Sheen's) writers/producers didn't want these Hung/Hang creations because then they'd be telling him to "Hang-In-There!" 
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(Charlie Sheen and "Snoop-DO-Double G's!") 
I didn't want "Boo's" I wanted more Booze!
Ya don't have me then You Lose!
Drinks are On the house? Thanks, "Hic-cup," can someone get 'Em for me!
In Ohio I was at a "Palace" so still livin' like a "King,"
Defeat is not an option, I'm not Goin Down, I'm Not in a drunken stupor, Just Acting like a Clown!
Some think I'm half a man, but half of "MEN" is Me!
For those who "Snoop," I  "DO" like "Double G's," but I'd rather have "Double-D's!"
The only "Hookers" at my show are the one's "Yankin" me off stage,
They wonder Why I always end up in a Rage!
I didn't mind "Drug-Off-Stage," but I really wanted drugs,
Be my "Heroin" and get me "Coke" kisses and hugs!
Truth hits like a torpedo, but I know I'm the Bomb,
Wait, that was my performance, so actually I was wrong!
Don't make my daughters stay away, want 'Em to see what They'll be like one day! 
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(Even Oprah likes my Charlie Sheen and Two-and-a-half-men jokes!)
Oprah loves me/my jokes! Since he's Charlie "Harper" not "Sheen" on the show and My jokes are so great it is "Harp-Oh Studios!" 
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Charlie (Sheen) is "Fighting" so Now He Is Charles In "Charge!" And that's No Bull! 
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Copyright 2011 Bryan Schooley  All Rights Reserved!
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