I wanted to start out with a BANG, but the Barber cut All my Hair Off!
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"Every Day I'm Shuffl'in?" Proves he is "DEAL'IN" and "BRAGGIN" about it!
Every Day I'm Shuffl'in? Until I get tired of play'n, my cards rip/fall apart or get lost, OR I get "Bored!"
Every Day I'm Shuffl'in until I get "Bored" and Stop "Shuffl'in, but then its still FUN! Shuffle-Bored!
"Sleet, Snow, Rain, Sleet, Hail........OOPS, Hail-NO! (Hell-NO!)" Not This Time!
I'm NEVER going to "Leave" this bed! I've been Marooned-5 times already! No leaf(s) on the bed unless I "LEAVE It To BEAVER!"
What is a UFO? U, Fuck-Off! You, Fuck-Off!
What is a UFO? Ewe, Fuck-Off! What is a UFO? U,You,Ewe-Fuck-BugSpray/Off!
Why put a "Berry" on an egg? Berry-The-Hatch-IT!
What is the OFFICIAL paper towel of Las Vegas? "Viva, or Viva-Las-Vegas!"
"Eat" a womans "Clean" pussy while on a sub or in a subway! Subway, Eat Fresh!
Diddy Dirty Money? A girlfriend or wife asks did he use "Drity" money for prostitutes, strippers or hookers?
Amber, A-Rose to the occasion to date a "Wiz!" Is that smart? "Wiz-Dumb!/Wisdom!"
Wiz has no "Beef" with Kanye, they are not "Eating" together!
Wiz has no "Beef" with Kanye, so they don't want to be the "Back-Street" Boys!
I'm not saying "Squat!" I'm saying "Any" Position you want!
I don't know "Squat!" That's ok, its easy and I'll Teach you!
Change a babys diaper in an elevator? "Luv/Love In An Elevator!" OR For Mr. Clean! OR Missed Her Clean! 
Why are you putting Peanut Butter on your Penis or Vagina? Sex at a Jiffy-Lube!
Why are you putting Peanut Butter in your/her Pussy? To be "Done" IN a "Jiffy!"
How are you beating the heat? I am so "Hot" that my "Girl" says she just uses her Hand to "BEAT-The-HEAT!"
You Know When It's Real? If you're a Real Man, you Know when it's Real! (Moans, Orgasims, etc!)
Why is it a Blank screen? They are Shooting A Film, movie or TV show or commercial!  
Marijuana is "Herbal ESSENCE!"
Your Ass is Grass? Great! It's time for "Smoked" Donkey/Ass!
Your Ass is Smokin? No, your ass/donkey is eating "Grass" not smoking it!
Octuplets, sextuplets, whats next, "Adoption-Tuplets?"
"Basic-Cable" is good! You're too busy "Recycling" Basic "Cable" there's NO Time to Hang/Kill yourself!
Why is Basic-Cable bad? You Can't "Hang/Kill" yourself because you keep recycling the basic Cable!
Get the Lead out? Yes, get who Led us "OUT" and get someone good INTO office!
You say you Led the Nation? I agree, you didn't get much/any "Good" done, so you "Led" the nation!
If you Led the Nation, did you make or give Bullets?
A great Gunfighter is a "Drawing-Bored!"
What is a "Drawing Board?" A "Board" that teaches you how to "Draw-or-Draw-With" a gun OR to Draw!
What is a "Drawing Board? A person getting bored waiting for someone to finish painting their picture!
What is a "Drawing Board? A drawing where most everyone is Bored, they're not being "Drawn to WIN!"
Why are there more bear sightings? Most people now are looking thru a guns' sight with their bear eye(s)!
Don't go into the water after a "Hearty" meal? Don't worry, I didn't eat a "Heart nor a Deer!"
You want a "Carcas?" Yes, either a "Chocolate" or a "Musical" car! (Car-Kiss!)
Carcas? You put "Chocolate" or a "Music Group" On or In a car!
If a wedding goes by without a "Hitch," was the bride or groom the "Hitch-HIKER?" 
The only time a mother doesn't want "Peace" is when she's on a diet! Then it is "Piece-Out!" 
The wedding went without a "Hitch," so it's Who got "LEFT" at the Altar, RIGHT?
The wedding went without a "Hitch" but the bride and groom Joined THEIR family! A Hitch but No marriage? Did they use a rope or chain to Join their family? It couldn't have been "Super" Glue, it wasn't "Great!"
What's a Gutter Topper? One who puts or uses a "TOP" in/on a gutter OR on/over a "Gut!"
That ox, he's a moron! An ox he's ON more or puts more On! Ox-He-Moron! Ox-He-More-On! (Oxymoron!)

Copyright 2011 Bryan Schooley
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